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The Headstone Isn't Set Yet: When It Goes In and How to Place Flowers Meanwhile

Why a headstone often goes in months after the burial, how long it usually takes, and how to place flowers at a grave that only has a temporary marker.

By Fern2 min read

Many families are surprised that the headstone is not there at the first visit after the funeral. Instead there is a small temporary marker, often a metal plate on a stake from the funeral home. That is normal, and it can last for months. Here is why, and how to honor someone at the grave in the meantime.

Why the headstone waits

The ground over a new grave settles as the soil compacts. An upright headstone set too early can tilt or sink, so many cemeteries ask families to wait. Common waits:

  • Six months is the most common recommendation for upright headstones.
  • Up to a year at some cemeteries, especially where the ground freezes.
  • A few weeks at others, particularly for flat markers or where the cemetery uses concrete liners.

On top of that, a headstone takes time to make. Ordering, approving the design and engraving often take several weeks to a few months on their own.

Veterans' headstones

For a veteran, the government headstone or marker is requested from Veterans Affairs after the burial. If more than 60 days have passed since the request and the grave is still unmarked, VA advises contacting the cemetery, the funeral home or whoever is receiving the headstone to check on it.

Placing flowers at a grave without a headstone

  • Use the temporary marker as your guide. Flowers go at the head of the grave, near the marker.
  • Choose an arrangement with a ground stake or one that sits flat. There is no headstone to hold a saddle arrangement yet, and loose flowers on fresh ground are often cleared.
  • Ask the cemetery office what is allowed on a new grave. Some cemeteries restrict decorations until the ground has settled and the grass is re-seeded.
  • Keep the plot details handy. Section, row and plot number from the burial paperwork will matter for anyone placing flowers for you, since there is no name on a stone yet.

BloomBridge Runners can place flowers at a grave that only has a temporary marker. Give us the section and plot when you order, and you will get a photo of the arrangement at the grave afterwards. See the arrangements.

When the headstone goes in

Once the headstone is set, the cemetery often clears decorations around it during installation. Plan new flowers for the week after, and if you use a vase or saddle, now is the time to choose one. Our guide to choosing a headstone vase covers the options.

Topics Planning & How-To Headstones After the funeral Temporary markers Cemetery rules

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Frequently asked questions

Often about six months, to let the ground settle. Some cemeteries ask for a year, others only a few weeks, and making the headstone itself can take several weeks to a few months.

Usually yes, at the head of the grave near the temporary marker. Ask the cemetery office, since some restrict decorations on new graves.

Use the section, row and plot number from the burial paperwork, or ask the cemetery office. The temporary marker from the funeral home usually shows the name.