Flag Etiquette at a Grave: How to Place and Care for a Flag

A small American flag at a veteran's headstone is one of the most recognizable sights in any cemetery. Placing one is simple, and a few points of etiquette show respect for the flag and for the veteran.

When flags go out

Flags are most often placed for Memorial Day, when volunteers fill national cemeteries and veterans sections with them, and again for Flag Day, the Fourth of July and Veterans Day. Many private cemeteries let veterans' organizations place them in the veterans section, or allow families to bring their own. Check before you go: Arlington National Cemetery, for example, does not allow visitors to leave flags.

How to place a flag

• Use a small stick flag sized for a grave, upright and secure.
• Place it at the base of the headstone, usually centered or slightly to one side, about a foot in front of it.
• Push the staff firmly into the ground so the flag stands straight and does not touch the ground.
• Many volunteers pause, say the veteran's name, and salute or place a hand over the heart before moving on.

Caring for a flag at the grave

• Replace a flag that is faded, torn or tattered. A worn flag should be retired with dignity, not thrown away.
• Veterans' posts, scout troops and many local organizations collect worn flags for respectful retirement ceremonies.
• If a flag has fallen, stand it back up. If it has blown away, it is fine to replace it.

When flags are removed

Many cemeteries remove holiday flags a set number of days after the holiday, along with other decorations, to allow mowing. At national cemeteries, the flags placed for Memorial Day are typically collected shortly afterward.

Flags with flowers

A flag and a patriotic arrangement together are a common way to honor a veteran on a holiday. Red, white and blue flowers in the headstone vase or a saddle, with a small flag beside them, is the classic look.

For more on national cemeteries, see our guide to flowers at a veteran's grave.