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The First Christmas Without Them: Ways to Honor Someone at the Grave and at Home

Gentle ideas for the first Christmas after a death: at the grave, at home, and from far away, with when to plan holiday flowers so they arrive in time.

By Fern1 min read

Christmas is full of rituals that someone always did: the ornament they hung, the cookies they made, the chair they sat in. The first Christmas without them brings each of those moments back. Many families find it easier when they plan a few small ways to include the person they miss, rather than waiting for the hard moments to arrive.

At the grave

  • Holiday flowers. Red and white, evergreens, pine and holly. A holiday arrangement at the headstone is the most common Christmas decoration at the cemetery.
  • A wreath or grave blanket where the cemetery allows it. Our guide to grave blankets explains the tradition.
  • A visit together. Many families go on Christmas Eve or the morning of Christmas and share a memory there.

Check the cemetery's holiday rules first. Some only allow wreaths and holiday decorations between set dates, often from early December to late January.

At home

  • Hang their ornament first, or make a new one with their photo.
  • Make their recipe and say whose it is.
  • Write them a card and read it aloud, or tuck it into a stocking.
  • Give a gift in their name to a cause they cared about.

From far away

If the cemetery is in another state, the first Christmas can feel doubly distant. Having flowers placed and seeing a photo of them at the headstone helps many families feel they were there. Our guide to what to do when you can't visit a grave has more ideas.

A BloomBridge Runner can place a holiday arrangement at the grave before Christmas and send you a photo of it at the headstone. Order by December 3 so it is placed in time. See the Holiday Arrangement.

Give yourself permission

Some families keep every tradition; others skip the big gathering this year. Both are normal. Our guide to Christmas flowers for a grave covers what to place and when.

Topics Holidays & Occasions Christmas Grief First year Winter Remembering from afar

Placed at the grave by a local Runner

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Grave flower delivery to any cemetery in all 50 states · find yours by state

Flowers at the grave, wherever it is

A local BloomBridge Runner places a hand-crafted arrangement at any cemetery in all 50 states and sends you a photo of it in place.

Send Flowers

Frequently asked questions

Many families place holiday flowers or a wreath at the grave, hang a memorial ornament, make the person's recipe, and share memories together.

A holiday arrangement in red, white and evergreen, a wreath, or a grave blanket where the cemetery allows it. Check the cemetery's holiday dates.

For BloomBridge delivery, order by December 3 so a Runner can place the arrangement before Christmas.