Planting Flowers on a Grave: What Cemeteries Allow and What Actually Grows

Planting something living on a grave feels right to a lot of people, and it is the first thing many cemeteries forbid. Whether you can do it depends entirely on where the grave is. Here is what cemeteries of each kind say, quoted from their own rules, and what grows if you are allowed.

National cemeteries: no

The National Cemetery Administration's floral directive prohibits "permanent, in-ground plantings" at every VA national cemetery, along with non-government containers such as pots and planters. Potted plants are allowed only in a window each cemetery sets; Fort Bliss National Cemetery, for example, permits them from 10 days before to 10 days after Easter. If the grave is in a national cemetery, the answer is cut flowers in the cemetery's vases, and nothing in the ground.

Catholic and church cemeteries: often a small bed

Many diocesan cemeteries allow annuals in a defined bed. The Catholic cemeteries of the Archdiocese of Newark, including Holy Cross in North Arlington, permit "annual plantings in beds 12-inches deep and the length of the memorial," while shrubbery and roses are not permitted. Anything outside the rules is removed on the clean-up dates without notice. Twelve inches in front of the stone, no wider than the stone, is a common formula.

Large private cemeteries: with permission

Woodlawn in the Bronx allows "a 12-inch rectangular border" planted in front of the main monument or grave markers, as approved by the cemetery, and requires written permission before any planting begins. Blanket plantings of ivy or myrtle are not allowed anywhere on the grounds, and trees and shrubs are not allowed on single graves. Memorial parks with flat markers usually go further and allow no planting at all. Forest Lawn in Glendale permits potted plants under one gallon, set on the marker or in a ground vase, and nothing in the lawn.

What actually grows on a grave

A grave bed is a hard garden: full sun, mower traffic at the edges, and nobody to water it between visits. Choose plants that take that:

• Marigolds and zinnias for summer sun with little water.
• Petunias and vinca (annual periwinkle) for heat.
• Begonias and impatiens for a grave under trees.
• Pansies and violas for spring and fall in cool climates.
• Mums in pots for fall, where pots are allowed.

Skip anything that spreads (ivy, mint, groundcovers), anything that grows tall enough to hide the inscription, and bulbs unless the cemetery says yes, since they come back each year whether the rules change or not. Plan to visit to water in the first two weeks, or plant just before a stretch of rain.

Who maintains it

You do. Cemeteries mow and trim around a bed but do not water or weed it, and an overgrown or dead planting is the first thing a crew removes. If you cannot get there regularly, a potted plant for a visit or a silk arrangement in the vase is the honest choice, and most cemeteries prefer it. Our guides to cemetery flower rules and grave decoration ideas cover the alternatives. When in doubt, check with the cemetery.