Grave Decoration Ideas That Cemeteries Actually Allow

Search "grave decoration ideas" and you will find a lot of things that look lovely in a photo and are in a cemetery dumpster by the following week. Decorating a grave well means choosing things that honor the person, survive the weather, and stay inside the cemetery's rules. Here is what works, sorted by how cemeteries treat it.

Almost always allowed

• Flowers in the marker's vase. The vase exists for this. A silk arrangement set in it is welcome at every cemetery we know of, in every season.
• A headstone saddle. Sits across the top of an upright stone, touches nothing on the ground, and reads from the path. Our guide to saddles and vases covers the fit.
• A small flag on a veteran's grave, especially around Memorial Day, Veterans Day and the Fourth of July.
• A wreath on an easel in December, and at many cemeteries in other seasons too.
• A seasonal arrangement changed four times a year: spring pastels, summer brights, fall mums, winter evergreens. The most reliable way to keep a grave looking tended.

Usually allowed if secured

• Small personal items attached to the arrangement: a fishing lure, a golf ball, a team ribbon, a small ornament. Attached means wired or tied in, not resting on the grass.
• A weatherproof photo in a frame clipped to the vase or saddle.
• A small pumpkin or gourd in a fall arrangement.
• Solar lights at some cemeteries, if they are in the vase or attached to the stone. Many memorial parks prohibit them; ask first.
• A grave blanket of evergreens in winter, where snow covers the lawn and mowing has stopped.

Usually removed

• Anything on the grass. Loose bouquets, pots, statues, pinwheels and toys in the mower's path are cleared on the next maintenance pass, at every cemetery.
• Glass and ceramics. Banned nearly everywhere because they shatter under mowers.
• Balloons. Prohibited at most cemeteries; they end up in trees and neighboring plots.
• Candles and vigil lights, except where a cemetery has a specific tradition of them.
• Plantings. Shrubs, bulbs and ground cover interfere with maintenance and neighboring graves. A few rural cemeteries allow them at the stone; most do not.
• Permanent additions: benches, borders, fencing, gravel. These require cemetery approval and usually a fee.

Ideas by occasion

• Birthday: their favorite flower in their favorite color, bright rather than somber.
• Anniversary of the death: white flowers, or the funeral flowers again in silk.
• Memorial Day and Veterans Day: red, white and blue with a flag.
• Mother's Day: pink and white roses, peonies, hydrangeas.
• Father's Day: sunflowers, deep reds and golds.
• Fall: mums, berries, a small gourd.
• Christmas: a wreath, or poinsettias and evergreens in a saddle.

The one rule that covers everything

If it would survive a lawn mower passing beside it and a week of rain, and it is either on the stone or in the vase, it will almost certainly be left alone. If not, assume it will be gone. Our guide to cemetery flower rules explains how to find the specific rules for the cemetery you care about.