Sending Flowers to a Veteran's Family: The Funeral Home, the House or the Grave

When a veteran dies, people who served with them, worked with them or simply knew them want to send something, and often from far away. The question is where. A veteran's funeral has a few extra moving parts, including a possible burial in a national cemetery with its own rules, so the right address depends on the moment. Here are the three places flowers can go, and what works at each.

To the funeral home, for the service

Flowers for the visitation or service go to the funeral home, addressed to the family of the veteran, with the date and time of the service. Order through a florist in that town and call the funeral home first to confirm it accepts deliveries and when. Red, white and blue arrangements, or a flag-themed standing spray, are the tradition for a veteran, and a card that names the branch and years of service is read aloud more often than you would think. Our guide to military funeral honors explains the flag folding and honors the family can request.

To the committal at a veterans cemetery

If the burial is at a VA national or state veterans cemetery, the service happens in a committal shelter, not at the grave, and lasts about half an hour. Cemeteries generally allow the flowers from the funeral home to come along, and the flowers that accompanied the casket or urn are placed on the completed grave afterward. A florist delivering directly to the cemetery usually needs the service date and time and must deliver shortly before it; check with the cemetery, since the rules vary. Whatever is placed there is removed within days, like funeral flowers anywhere.

To the house, for the family

In the week of the funeral the house fills with flowers and the family runs out of vases. A plant, a meal or a donation to a veterans charity in the person's name often lands better than another arrangement. If you send flowers to the home, send them a week or two after the service, when the house has emptied and the gesture stands alone. Our guide to sympathy gifts after the funeral covers that window.

To the grave, later

The grave is the place to send flowers when the funeral has passed and you still want to mark it, and for veterans it has its own calendar: Veterans Day, Memorial Day, the anniversary, and Wreaths Across America in December. National cemeteries allow fresh flowers any time and silk flowers in a window that each cemetery sets, in the cemetery's own vase, no taller than the headstone, with nothing attached to the stone. Our guide to flowers at a national cemetery has the rules, and finding a veteran's grave covers the locator if you do not know the section.

Send the delivery photo to the family. For a spouse or child far from the cemetery, a picture of flowers at the headstone on Veterans Day says more than a card.