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What to Put on a Grave

What to Write on the Card With Flowers for a Grave

Short, specific and in your own voice. Messages for a parent, a spouse, a child, a friend's loved one, a birthday, an anniversary and the holidays, with examples you can use as they are or change.

By Fern2 min read

The card that goes with flowers to a grave is read by two audiences: the person the flowers are for, in whatever sense you hold that, and the family who sees the photo or visits and finds it. It does not need to be long. The best ones are one or two lines, specific, and in the voice the person would recognize.

Three rules

  1. Use their name. "Mom" or "Frank," not "the departed."
  2. Say why today. The birthday, the anniversary, the holiday, or simply "I was thinking of you."
  3. Write it the way you talk. If you would never say "eternal rest" out loud, do not write it.

For a parent

  • Happy birthday, Mom. We had your cake and told the stories. Every one of them.
  • Dad, it's Father's Day. I still reach for the phone. Love you.
  • Merry Christmas, Mom. The house is full and your chair is still yours.

For a spouse

  • Forty-two years today. I'd do every one of them again.
  • Happy Valentine's Day. Red, like always.
  • Thinking of you every morning. This is one of the mornings I wanted you to know it.

For a grandparent

  • Grandma, these are the roses from your porch, or as close as we could get. We remember.
  • Happy birthday, Papa. The grandkids know your name and your jokes.

For a child

  • Happy birthday, Ellie. Six today. We love you every single day.
  • Sweet boy. Mommy and Daddy were here.

For a friend's loved one

When you send flowers to someone else's family grave, the card is really for your friend; the photo goes to them with your note. Keep it to the date and the name.

  • Thinking of you and of Tom today. I remembered the date and wanted his grave to have flowers.
  • One year. We miss her too. From all of us at the office.
  • Happy birthday, Mrs. Alvarez. Placed by Sarah, who knows you are thinking of her today.

For a veteran

  • Thank you for your service, Grandpa. Memorial Day, from all of us.
  • Semper Fi, Dad.

For the anniversary of a death

  • Five years today. Still here, still yours.
  • Thinking of you and of Rose on this hard day. You are not marking it alone.

What to leave out

Anything that starts with "at least." Long verses, unless they were the person's. Explanations of why you could not be there in person; the flowers say you were there in the way you could be. And nothing about how the flowers were arranged or delivered; the photo says that.

With a BloomBridge order, your message goes with the delivery, and the photo of the flowers at the headstone goes to you or to whoever you name, so a friend or a parent sees both the flowers and your words. See how delivery works.

Topics What to Put on a Grave How it works Card messages Sending flowers Sympathy gifts Grief

Placed at the grave by a local Runner

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Flowers at the grave, wherever it is

A local BloomBridge Runner places a hand-crafted arrangement at any cemetery in all 50 states and sends you a photo of it in place.

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Frequently asked questions

One or two lines: the person's name, why today (birthday, anniversary, holiday), and something in your own voice. "Happy birthday, Mom. We had your cake."

Either works. Most people write to the person who died; when the flowers are for a friend's loved one, write to the friend and mention the person by name.

Paper does not last outdoors, so do not count on it. Your message is kept with your order, and the family sees it alongside the delivery photo.